I don’t find our relative insignificance disheartening at all: The main thing it tells me is that in a culture that worships celebrity and the purportedly extraordinary, ALL people are ordinary people. ALL people have the same responsibilities to themselves and to each other. Maybe the universe cares nothing for us, but WE care about each other. And most encouragingly, we care not just for our friends or family but for the whole enterprise of life—we care about strangers and about humpback whales and, most beautifully of all, we care about the dead. We try with our lives to honor theirs. That’s how we make our lives meaningful, and how we make their lives meaningful, too. - John Green

you are ::fascinating::

It's been a bit of a whirlwind week. Of course everything seems somewhat whirlwindish lately with doctor visits, weddings, vacation, and trying to still, you know, do something with my life.

I can tell you that everything has been amazing. Sunday I went over to Ange's and while we skipped Game of Thrones for the night (I know, I complained a lot about it), I did have a wonderful time seeing Lindsey and hanging out with their group of friends. I threw caution to the wind and ate delicious bad for me foods, and we played taboo with lots of yelling and buzzing!

Monday night Ange, Amy and I hunkered down and finally watched Blackwater. The second to last episode of the second season of Game of Thrones. It was... mindblowing. I mean just fantastic television. I think we spent almost 3 hours watching the episode, rewatching our favorite scenes, reading reviews, and discussing it. How fantastic is a show when it captivates you for that long... and I'm still thinking about it and yapping about it! haha My non GoT friends hate me for it!

Anyway... I'm ranting.

Tonight was a calm, fun night spent with Sami and her friend Jenna (who also watches GoT). We are gearing up for Sami's big 1920s murder mystery themed birthday party in two weeks and spent the night chatting, watching HP6 and making fascinators for our outfits! We were supposed to have a few other guests come, but everyone had disasters happen. No worries though, we stretched our creativity and made 8 fascinators all together. I may have made 5 of them, but I'm somewhat of an overachiever. Plus I used hot glue while Sami and Jenna sewed theirs. So maybe they're the overachievers. haha

Here's a peek at what I made::

It's essentially a giant flower with some pearls and green yarn for the base. I think it's lovely in every way so I can't wait to wear it with my cute dress at the party! 

I just realized that this blog post was essentially a run down of my week. How boring is that? Luckily I have plenty of Utah to blog about in the coming week, so stay tuned for epic wild west adventures!!

<3

obsessed ::proposal::

I am officially obsessed with this unbelievably adorable marriage proposal. I mean I don't plan on getting married, but damn, if a cute boy with a beard ever arranged something as lovely I just might say yes. haha



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this very ::moment::

I love questions about time and place. I met with a nutritional coach last weekend (more on that later) and one of her questions was, "at what time in your life have you been the happiest?" I thought it was a brilliant question, and something I never really examined.

The answer was simple enough: Fall 2010. It's funny because I thought about life right now, and how on a mostly regular basis I am truly happy. I mean shit is crazy. Life doesn't stop and there will always be troubles and sickness and blah blah blah, but I'm fucking* happy, alright! Then after some thought I put aside this very moment and really thought about the question.

I mean of course there are times when you're happier. There are times when you're more sad, right? It was OKAY that right now is not the happiest time in my life. And when I let go the idea that I had to be happiest in this very moment, Fall 2010 came to mind instantly.

Once we started discussing the reasoning behind Fall 2010 as an answer I really started to understand why this time was so happy for me, and what that meant for my life now.

The Fall of 2010 came to mind instantly because I thought about my vacation video with Krystal Brown that year. I had recently watched most of our videos again (which I always do when I make a new one), and I can always feel the absolute pure joy I felt while making the video every time I watch it. I originally thought the joy was due to the fact that Kb and I went on our first really grand adventure, and I saw Bison, and we danced in the middle of national parks, and discovered the beauty of the sunset at the SLC Capitol Building. But while all of these amazing things added to my happiness, it was really the freedom I felt during that Fall that made it the happiest time in my life.

What I didn't think about when I answered Fall 2010 was that I also made other big moves that season. I left Walgreens to take the job I currently have. I moved out of my Mom's and into my very first apartment. I declared so much independence in so little time and then I managed to go on an epic vacation without vacation pay, without a solid plan for what my future would hold and I succeeded in loving life and being adventurous.

If you talk to me on a regular basis you know that I am a planner. I mean I hounded Ange last week about dinner plans just so I could better plan out every minute of my Sunday. And it extends beyond today and tomorrow, through to next week, month... year. I am always thinking of what I want in life and where I want to go. What job do I REALLY want? Where do I want to live? What type of relationship do I want to be in? I mean, do I actually want to be in a relationship right now? (reason #123948 why I'm single... the answer is usually too complicated for me to fully think it out)

Yet in Fall 2010 my questions were essentially these::
What should I eat for dinner?
Can I afford to go out to eat tonight?
Pizza or Chinese?
What should I wear to Harry Potter 7.1?

I'm sure those big questions were there, floating around the back of my mind, waiting for something to happen to make one, two, or all of them resurface. It's taken most of this past year and they have slowly found their way back to the forefront of my mind. Does that mean I'm unhappy? No, just like I wasn't truly unhappy before the Fall of 2010 either. It just means that I have questions to answer, and problems to solve before I feel that true uninhibited freedom again. And that's okay. I cannot stress that enough. It's okay!

What I've learned through all of this rambling, and through my discussion with the lovely Amy (nutritionist extraordinaire), is that not being my happiest in this very moment isn't even close to being a bad thing. It's an opportunity to find new incredible ways to extract joy from life and take the time to figure out the answers to some of those big questions. I feel empowered knowing that I have the ability to ALWAYS change my life for the better, to strive for that crazy happy that has you rolling down a hill in the middle of the afternoon in front of a state capitol building! And who knows, maybe this time next year when I ask myself the last time I was truly happy I'll say without a shadow of a doubt, "summer 2012."


-side note- this post would include photos and/or video from Fall 2010, but at&t internet is the absolute worst and for some reason my youtube account and my flickr account will not load tonight. blerg.

*It's important to note that this blog may become more swear friendly in the coming posts. I've always tried to avoid it because before this blog was all about 60b Photography and I wanted to be open and inviting. But now that it's just Live Intrepidly I don't think I need to shy away from the fact that sometimes I swear. I know, it's crazy to think a nice girl like me would ever curse, but I do, and it's fucking fun.

DIY ::goals::

I made a list while in Utah of all of the DIY things I wanted to do when I returned to CT. Of course since my return all I've managed to do is be sick and watch movies. BUT, in the coming weeks I plan to attack these DIY goals and pretty much be a rockstar.

Goal #1: Turn empty frames into dainty photo display.

I bought these super cute dainty clothes pins at Michaels just knowing that I would find a use for them, and with some lace from my craft box I'm going to turn a black frame and a white frame I have into the cutest photo display ever. (click the photo above for source!)

2. Make an instagram journal/scrapbook from Utah. I came up with the idea with some help from A Beautiful Mess. Elsie used an old book and made a cute little scrapbook out of it. When I was in UT, Kb and I visited Kb's favorite rare and used book shop and I found this great old Utah guide book. It's the perfect size, and has great maps and colors inside. I'm going to print my instagrams from the trip and add some great scrapbooky details with a bit of journaling for a unique, yet lovely account of the vacation!

3. Restyle my dresser. I don't have a photo of my dresser, but it's old and brown and not that pretty. I mean I'm fairly certain my Dad used it before I was born. It's still in excellent condition though, so instead of investing in a new pretty dresser (that's less face it would probably be less well made), I'm going to either use chalk paint to paint it, or mod podge some maps onto it. I'm still debating, but you'll know what I decide soon.

4. Bleach paint my shirts. Alright so I really like a lot of Elsie's DIY stuff on A Beautiful Mess. haha I wanted to bleach paint one of my new t-shirts before UT so I could have it photographed on vacation, but timing just didn't work. Now 'm pretty sure Ange and I are going to have a bleach painting party (and by party I mean Ange and I myself at her place talking about TV while bleach painting shirts together... there will probably be iced tea).

5. COOK. Does cooking count as DIY? I mean it's something I do myself. I haven't cooked a lot since being sick, and I really miss it. Like crazy miss it. I will be cooking for Sami's 25th birthday party in a couple of weeks, which I'm really excited for (both the cooking and party), but I really want to experiment with some more vegan and vegetarian cooking. Anyone have any amazing recipes for me? Email me!

Here's to setting goals again and working hard to make them happen. I may like having goals a little too much, but I always find myself a little lost without them. 

Do you have any fun DIY goals? What about Summer goals? Just thinking about my Summer goals makes me want to take a nap, but more on that later. For now let's think about bleach paint, instagram scrapbooking, and cooking!!

<3

la la la la ::life::

It's been harder than I thought to take the time to get back into blogging. It's not that I don't like it. I said previously that I really love it. I've just gotten used to living life a certain way and now I'm trying to figure out where I'm going and what I'm doing all over again.

I know I've only been sick for two and a half months, but I feel as if so many things in my life have changed in that short time. I mean imagine all of your eating and exercise habits changing so dramatically and then losing a large amount of weight in a short time. I mean I spend a lot of time explaining to people that I'm sick when they tell me I look good. I know that is such a first world problem, but still. I'm also not terribly good at dealing. Like, actually dealing. I mean day to day life is fine and I'm having so much fun with friends still, and love so much of my life. I think I just feel as if I should be freaking out or stressed about money, or anything, but I kind of just feel... fine.

Well, tonight I felt tired and sick, but lunch didn't agree with any of my organs, and I'm still not adjusted to CT time from being in UT. I really enjoyed my night though. I ate an entire bar of dark chocolate (normally I have one or two squares a night because I don't want to go overboard and bother my gall bladder... whoops), and then I watched New Year's Eve and We Bought a Zoo.

New Year's Eve was awful. Just a terrible sappy movie. I adore bad movies though, so I loved all of the horrible acting (stop trying Jon Bon Jovi) and random intermixing of characters that didn't really make any sense. I did enjoy We Bought a Zoo. I may have fast forwarded through some of the more angsty parts, but I mean who doesn't love Matt Damon? Especially in his glasses and sweaters. I mean I probably could have watched his scenes on mute and still enjoyed the movie.

Anyway...

I was going to post a few inspiring quotes, or graphics, but instead I'm just going to write a few of the lovelier bits of life right now. I may have to pay off $3500 in medical bills, have a leftover baby tooth with no adult tooth to replace it that's breaking (it's not a hygiene issue, simply a bad gene issue - thanks mom & dad), very limited diet, and weird sleep patterns, but damnit, life is still super effing good!

1. I went to Goblin Valley State Park a couple of weeks ago with one of my best friends and it was... life changing. That park = an endless adventure.
2. The great battle is coming this Sunday on Game of Thrones and I'm crazily excited.
3. My new 60b Photography website launched! It's a work in progress, but still yay!
4. I bought a cute (semi plain) bathing suit for $25 today! It isn't as flashy and fun as I wanted it to be, but it's the best fit and most comfortable one I've found after trying on a million of them.
5. I rearranged my bedroom and bought a new duvet cover, and I'm pretty sure it's making a huge difference in how much I love my apartment right now (which is a lot).

Smaller loves include::
- Supportive & encouraging friends
- Mini dill pickles
- Kaiser rolls
- Bug Barrier Spray
- Paper Chains
- Instagram
- Robb Stark

<3

catching up ::and the weight thing::

Part One - Catching Up::

I think I've start all of my recent blog posts with a message apologizing for not blogging. I honestly love blogging my life, and used to look forward to it like crazy. As everyone knows I've been sick for the past couple of months, and despite my best efforts I have let it affect some of the best parts of my life, like blogging... and eating.

Well no more! I mean who isn't sick of me complaining about being sick? I know I am. I mean every time I talk about it I just hear myself in my own head saying, "oh shut up already! no one cares that you can't eat pizza!"

Why no more now? As it turns out I'm probably going to be sick for another couple of months, and there is no effing way I'm letting my gall bladder ruin my summer. Absolutely no way. I refuse.

I went to the Doctor yesterday morning and because my gall bladder appears healthy and has no stones there isn't a definitive enough reason for him to recommend surgery (apparently just knowing it isn't working correctly isn't enough). Either way I have a ton of weddings in June and July and would never risk being unable to shoot a wedding because of a voluntary medical procedure. So, I'm going to set myself on a gall bladder friendly diet, take probiotics, and try to make it through to the end of July. If by mid-July I find that I'm having the exact same symptoms I will find a surgeon and make them take my gall bladder out. My Doctor thought it was a swell plan and left the room without saying goodbye or officially ending the appointment (seriously, it was really awkward).

Part Two - The Weight Thing::

In my coming blog posts about my recent vacation to visit Kb in Utah you're going to notice something: I've lost weight. Normally I would just let this go, but I truly want to stress that the weight loss is 100% due to the fact that I am sick. While I did lose about 5lbs in January and part of February, I've lost 25lbs  in March and April. I went from hovering around 190lbs to now being almost exactly 160. Yes, it's great. I wanted to lose weight, and it happened. But here's the thing I hope you remember from when I was blogging regularly: my main goal was and has always been to be healthier. I wanted to exercise, eat healthy and lose weight because of my healthy habits. Instead my diet became suddenly restricted by illness and I'm honestly no healthier than I was before. I weigh less, yes, but I'm not any better for it.

That is why there will be no before and afters, and there will be no celebrations. I am not a success story, or role model. I'm sick.

In the past few weeks I've actually been trying to find ways to sneak calories into my days in the healthiest way possible to stall the weight loss. I've reached out to a friend of a friend who is a nutrition coach and if they're unable to help the way I need them to I'm going to go to a nutritionist. My new goal for the next two months is to maintain a gall bladder friendly diet that will either stall the weight loss or allow me to lose weight in a healthy way. If and when this happens I will share stories, recipes, and photos from my road to healthiness.

And with that I am off to bed.

Fun fact: normally I have no problem transitioning back to CT time after my Utah trips, but that's generally because I would still wake up super early in Utah and go to bed at a decent time. However, I started this Utah trip taking Benadryl at night to help me sleep through my cold (yes I had a cold the first few days of the trip), so I adjusted to Utah time super fast and started going to bed at midnight Utah time and waking up at 8am Utah time. That is why it's 1:17am and I'm barely tired. It's also why I've been a few minutes late to work every day this week. Waking up is the worst.

<3